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Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Ungrateful of What I Have My life is falling apart. I seriously really tired about everything and anything in my life. I know I am 18, that means I am able to be independent and live out my own, but being independent while taking care of someone who cannot think is another thing. I am very frustrated with my brother. I have to basically plan everything for me, what he eats, what he does and he is just being stubborn and not cooperative. Summary of all this craze : I am a babysitter which receive a lot of complains. I know I have done a very bad job on it ( yes, I know I can did better ) but I seriously have enough of nags and stuff. It really takes me down, you know. I feel like shit. That's why I think recently I have mood swings again, like loud and funny at one point and then quiet and down ( although I really like talking in class ). I have no luck in school and I just pissing people off. ( Why? OMG, TELL ME WHY!!!!!!! ). Not to mention, I hardly can catch up with my studies. Fuck. Miserable life. My elder brother is coming back and guess what, more housework to do!!! I was trying to be a nice youngest brother you know, I really did. It just that something he can do it in his own and yet he did not tried to do anything. Mum is gone, face it, there is no one going to clean your dirty dishes okay! Stop putting it there and expecting someone washes it for you. ( I did talked to him in a nice manner, I repeat, nice manner and all I got was him, yelling, telling me what a failure I am and even wants to punch me. Fascinating. Boom boom pow. ) But, I do have to confess that he did treat us very nice, he is just hot tempered, that's all. I made a very huge mistake. I should off to college instead of Form 6. I regretted it. But, what is done is done. I just have to went along with it. So, my strategy is -- just nod and smile and take in whatever throws at me. I think I can digest it. LOL. Btw, did you feel the earth quaking on 5pm? I was asleep thou. LOL 7:44 AM
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