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Monday, August 2, 2010
deep down My brain tells me to EMO. Sorry peeps but I can't control how I think. Any of my closest friends know that I am actually an over sensitive guy. Yes. OVER sensitive. Some words you spoke, some gestures you did, some words you wrote, I actually try to define in my way and it always translated your innocent action into something amplified worst case scenario. I don't know why I am acting like that, I certainly do not want to acting such jerk ass all the time. Maybe, my gang didn't ask me out for a movie, then, I'll starting to think that they forgot about me and stuff. The truth? He knows I am having tuition and he even knows what's the time of my tuition. Maybe, my best friend kept on using his sarcasm on me. I'll start to think that they don't really understand me. The truth? They know me better than myself. Maybe, my gang didn't ask me out for a birthday bash. I'll start to think why on earth they do this to me. The truth? They are going out with another gang and they scared that I will not fit into the group. Maybe, my best friend didn't sit beside me. I'll start to think he isolated me. The truth? He wasn't seeing me there and I was appearing as 'emo'. Such negativity linger in my head for a long long time. I knew it but I can't get rid of it. This is like a curse or something. I just can't freaking control. Of course, I know what causes the over sensitive part. And exam has contributed some of its side effect on my mood too. Anyway, I guess I am just scared. I mean, I am afraid that my best friends have another group of best friends and they will eventually forgot about me. ( Oh, this is the over thinking part ) but I know, they won't, because, there is a reason why they are my best friends. Cheers. Congrats to my BFF for getting a girlfriend. ( This reminds me that I actually bet with someone that he won't get a gf before me. I won! ) 6:15 AM
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